What is your focus

Papers were sprawled all over my desk come dressing table. It was mid-morning and I was still in my pj’s and slippers. My hair was a mess and I was running on caffeine. The editor had told me if I didn’t submit the first few drawings in two weeks, she’d find an illustrator who could. I was running out of excuses. I was stressed out and a mess, the kids were coming home from school and a thousand “to do” things were running around in my head. Then a call came in, I really had no time to chat to friends or family and made it clear to the caller that I was beyond stressed. His advice to me was invaluable.

I ranted on about having to finish stuff and I just couldn’t see how it was possible, that the book was very important but I couldn’t get to it. “STOP” he said “stop and just listen” So I sat obediently and listened.

Do you know the word “deadline?” “yes” I said lamely. “Well then you are on a deadline, a deadline is a no going over the line kind off command.” He carried on “if something happened to you and you died there is nothing that you can do further, full stop.” “are you getting the picture?” he asked. “your children are old enough to wipe their own asses and make their own food, so go and put a sign up on your door that reads deadline and close the door. Sit down and work to your deadline and let the world pass until its done. You are not around, not alive until your deadline is done.”

I stuck the note on my door, lived in my pj’s for five days and grabbed bites to eat in between. My kids survived and I made the deadline. The illustrations were handed in on time. It felt so good to have completed them, it was such an achievement. I could breath and return to normal life, cooking supper for my family was a delight, sitting with our feet up watching a movie together was extra special.

Out of focus

How did I get into this mess to start with, I was out of focus? There are a million things calling out for our attention on a daily basis. It’s so much easier to take care of them all, than focus. There are thousands of people who are really talented at what they do but don’t seem to get anywhere, for various reasons focus being one of them.

The other day I was showing some children how to get a burn mark on a piece of wood using a magnifying glass. We had to focus a pin prick of winter sun on one spot without moving it to get the heat going. Widen the angel and it won’t work, focus it on one spot, a tiny pin prick of light can burn through a piece of wood. It was a lesson that took me far too long to learn along with all its cousins, discipline, determination, planning and focus.

That said, whatever you focus on grows. “Our focus is our future, and what we focus on will multiply in our lives” David deNotarts.

Some people die focusing on all the negative things in life and the negative things thrive on all the nourishment they can get. Then there are some things that don’t need our help, like the weeds in my vegetable garden. They saw the opportunity to thrive and they grabbed it.

The choices we make

I had to pop in and deliver a letter to a little old lady in a retirement cottage a few blocks form us. I could see someone was looking after her garden, with little confetti bushes sprinkling on the side walk. I rang the bell and waited. She eventually opened up and welcomed me inside. I’d met her on a few occasions and she was always so friendly with a ready smile, but I knew nothing about her life until that afternoon. She invited me in for tea and I accepted. Her little cottage was north facing and warm from afternoon sun. “I can’t drive anymore, the doctors told me its because of my eyes” she said as she handed me my tea. I sensed that she needed to talk. “My husband died a few years ago and …she trailed off..” “Do you have children” I ventured and then wish I hadn’t. “We couldn’t have children so we adopted two little one’s.” she stopped to take a sip. “My son died in a car accident and my daughter is in a home for the mentally handy capped.” I sat silently listening to her story. Then she went on to tell me how kind people were in her life. She’d been ill over the last few days and feeling a little lonely. “Then yesterday I noticed a flower in one of my pots, while sitting here.” She explained the flower had all but died a week earlier. “there is was in full bloom, its bright orange petals pointed towards the sun” she pointed the flower out to me. “It was like a promise that God will always be there caring for me.” We sat and looked at the flower, sharing in its beauty. A simple flower doing what it was designed to do, grow and bloom. I share this story with you, because this woman knew how to focus on the smallest gifts in her life. She always had a smile for others. She had so many other reasons to focus on what went wrong in her life but she chose not to. – What is your focus ?

Grow flowers of gratitude in the soil of prayer – Verbena Woods